Tag Archives: Humor
Meet Punkin aka Fatty Patty Ramblah on Facebook…She hates to be videoed or have her picture taken…Watch her nail her owner with a right hook!
Absolutely worst parking job ever… BMW driver bangs her car against a curb and two other vehicles trying to park…
Watch Video Here
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
♦Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
♦Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
♦Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
♦Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
♦Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
♦Captain: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card.
The driver owned the car.
♦Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
♦Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the lying s.o.b. Cop told you I was speeding, too!
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. “Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “what is 1 and 1?” “Eleven,” she replied. The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but she’s right.”
Posted by: BBParks
40 Rules That Guys Wished Girls Knew
Posted by: Kane Reed (Sports Writer) A little out of my league but not gonna let this one slip by…..SO True…enjoy!
- If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
- Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put it down.
- Don’t cut your hair. Ever.
- Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present!
- If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
- Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.
- Don’t ask him what he’s thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and monster trucks.
- Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like every other cat.
- Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
- Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
- Shopping is not sport.
- Anything you wear is fine. Really.
- You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
- Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect us to like it.
- Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot!
- Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
- No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
- Pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
- Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes – what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- Your Mom doesn’t have to be our best friend.
- Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
- Check your oil.
CONTINUED NEXT PAGE